How to Watch Movies With Your Kids
By Stasi McAteer
The holiday season is upon us, bringing with it lots of Family Time Together (cue music: “Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again!”). What December would be complete without the movies and TV specials that remind parents of their childhood and bring classic stories to youngsters?
We believe that movies are a fantastic way for families to spend time together. Sharing laughter and tears, or learning something new, are all important purposes of communal art. Films don’t have to be only for entertainment; they can help families grow close.
Our family loves sitting down to watch our favorite Christmas movies every year: It’s A Wonderful Life (1946), Miracle on 34th Street (1947), White Christmas (1954), and Home Alone (1990) are always at the top of the list. Parents ask us: how do your kids sit through a serious, 2+ hour morality tale like It’s A Wonderful Life? How do you get them to even try a movie that isn’t animated, or starring their favorite pop star, or is *gasp* in black and white?
The answer is exposure and reassurance, my friends. And the best part is you get to do it together and hey, you get to watch some great art along the way!
So how can you -- and your kids -- begin to appreciate films together on a deeper level? We’ve followed just a few simple rules from the time our children were toddlers:
Avoid letting your kids watch anything you’re not willing to watch with them.
If a movie feels like it’s going to melt your brain, guess what? It’s probably not good for your kid, either. It’s a lie that “kid movies” are supposed to be dumb or lowbrow. The best films for children are absolute fun for adults, too: think of Beauty and the Beast (the animated one from 1991 that was nominated for Best Picture) or P.J. Hogan’s incredible live-action Peter Pan (2003).
Of course, just because you’d be willing to watch something doesn’t mean you always have to. Sometimes parents are busy or just don’t want to watch Spy Kids for the hundredth time. As long as it was good enough for you to watch (and appreciate) once, it’s good enough for your kids to watch again & again.
Teach your kids to love great films from the very beginning.
There’s nothing inherently kid-friendly about flashy colors, high-pitched voices, or frenetic editing -- in fact, there’s some evidence that these are harmful to growing brains. When our kids were toddlers, my husband watched Charlie Chaplin films with them, and they loved them because silent films are so visual. We’ve never shied away from showing them anything that might be boring, smart, or “over their heads” -- turns out, as with most things in life, they’ll accept as normal whatever you decide to expose them to!
When it’s family movie night, instead of scrolling around looking for a thumbnail or description that seems vaguely interesting, intentionally look up a pre-selected, well-made film to watch. How do you find that? You can ask friends for recommendations or look up lists of great family films. Read reviews and pay attention to what’s on the “Best Of” lists each year.
In this age of Yelp, a lot of us tend to trust crowdsourcing over experts. But we would argue that expert opinion has an important place in evaluating art. The fact is, critics have seen all the good movies (and, sadly for them, most of the bad ones, too). They are better able to judge based on a vast wealth of experience that most of us just don’t have.
Use movies as an art form meant to engage you.
Too many people think of movies (and especially TV) as “mindless entertainment” or something to distract them from real life. True, they can serve that purpose and take you to wonderful fantastical places, but they can also teach, challenge, and enlighten you. If you believe this, and choose entertainment accordingly, you’re giving your family a precious gift in this day and age: the ability to critically engage with media.
If parents model this, children will follow. Instead of passively taking in a movie, talk about what’s on-screen -- even pausing if necessary. Ask questions that get your kids thinking about what they’ve experienced, and answer them for yourself, too. Encourage their emotional reactions. Praise their critical thinking. Point out ways that cultural norms have shifted over time, and get their opinions on the morals of a character or the message of a film.
Finally, learn as much as you can about movie-making magic.
If you’ve really enjoyed a film, learn more about it! Watch the “making of” featurettes to discover what happens behind-the-scenes. Did you know the snowflakes in It’s a Wonderful Life are made of cornflakes -- and they won a special effects Oscar? What technology was used to help Tom Hanks play all those characters in The Polar Express? Is Buddy the Elf really that much bigger than all those other actors playing Santa’s helpers??
Even a kid who might not be that interested in the movie itself could be fascinated by the artistic, scientific, and mechanical processes that went into creating it. The more you learn about how stories are written, animation is drawn, or special effects are created, the more your family will appreciate the huge amount of work that goes into your entertainment. And the more you respect an art form, the deeper your appreciation of it will be.
The best way to watch movies as a family is together, with hearts, minds, and feelings engaged. Pop some popcorn, cuddle on the couch, and enjoy learning more about the world -- and each other -- through the entertainment you enjoy. Movies are a wonderful way to spend time together this holiday season -- or any time of the year!
Stasi McAteer lives in Ocean Beach, San Diego, where she is the TLO Peninsula Community Champion. After meeting her husband John in film school, she went on to work in Hollywood for five years. Her favorite job is as Mom to Maggie & Kieran. She and John are collaborating on a book about how to watch movies with your kids.